When I look back on how much Sandra and I have accomplished it feels incredible. In less than three years we’ve built something that makes me feel remarkable, yet at times I find myself feeling lazy. This nagging feeling of laziness and self doubt happens on days when I don’t want to work on something (or anything). When I start to feel this way I get into a terrible cycle where I feel like I need to work more to make up for lost work (my perceived notion of productivity). But that doesn’t mean I’m motivated, I just deliver a lower quality product and feel sorry for myself in the process. Realizing this makes me feel even lazier and I get even more down on myself and eventually I just want to take a break from everything.
I took two nights off from work recently to go camping and I couldn’t believe how much energy I had when I got back. A little nature and a fly rod in hand set me right. Coming back with renewed energy was a great reminder that we can’t keep pushing ourselves to meet this imaginary finish line. What I had forgotten is that taking a break is okay. We all need them. There is no imaginary finish line to this journey that we need to cross, it is simply a process.
I hope that anyone who reads this who is pushing themselves at full tilt recognizes the signs of stress/breakdown and discovers their own answers towards how they can slow down, give themselves a break, and take a breath. Even when it seems like you have a hundred plates spinning at the same time, you’d be surprised to learn how many don’t require your attention right now, but can be responded to on your own time.
Reading this post was certainly well timed for me. In a simple way, your “nagging feeling of laziness and self doubt” makes me feel better.
Its another reminder that I’m not the only one who has or is going thru those same feelings.
Thank you for sharing that Dylan. Who knew, 2 years later it’d help encourage someone. And I could use all the encouragement I can get.