When I look back on how much Sandra and I have accomplished it feels incredible. In less than three years we’ve built something that makes me feel remarkable, yet at times I find myself feeling lazy. This nagging feeling of laziness and self doubt happens on days when I don’t want to work on something (or anything). When I start to feel this way I get into a terrible cycle where I feel like I need to work more to make up for lost work (my perceived notion of productivity). But that doesn’t mean I’m motivated, I just deliver a lower quality product and feel sorry for myself in the process. Realizing this makes me feel even lazier and I get even more down on myself and eventually I just want to take a break from everything.
I took two nights off from work recently to go camping and I couldn’t believe how much energy I had when I got back. A little nature and a fly rod in hand set me right. Coming back with renewed energy was a great reminder that we can’t keep pushing ourselves to meet this imaginary finish line. What I had forgotten is that taking a break is okay. We all need them. There is no imaginary finish line to this journey that we need to cross, it is simply a process.
I hope that anyone who reads this who is pushing themselves at full tilt recognizes the signs of stress/breakdown and discovers their own answers towards how they can slow down, give themselves a break, and take a breath. Even when it seems like you have a hundred plates spinning at the same time, you’d be surprised to learn how many don’t require your attention right now, but can be responded to on your own time.